Today’s letter writers discuss the dairy industry’s “milk” issue and the military budget.

Got milk?

As I was reading the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel — the best newspaper since the invention of news or paper — I was greatly relieved to learn that after solving the problems of war, crime and poverty, our government has turned its capable efforts toward the problem of consumer products containing the word “milk” that are not actual excretions of a cow, such as “almond milk” (“Dairy industry mounts ‘milk’ effort,” March 14).

I am reasonably sure that almonds do not possess nipples. However, in the case of “rice milk,” and rice grains being too small to tell, I’ve had to take their word for it. But no more!

As for “peanut butter,” I think “spreadable peanutty stuff,” has a nice ring to it.

In conclusion, dear senators, please be advised: The other day I purchased a product labeled “chicken pot pie” and was incensed to find that while it did contain chicken and various vegetation, none of said plant matter was actually cannabis.

My first reaction was, “I’m sure not going to eat this…